It was just a bloated bottle
It was just a lazy window
It was just an itchy face
I thought I could get away
Because I didn’t have to look at you
But you laughed first and you deserved to
My movements felt so forced
Because I couldn’t feel it for myself
But you felt it all when I deserved to
Bitter lines regress the virtue
I’ve accepted
Leaving a sting so unnecessary, creepy, i question my worthiness to jump,
If only I could play a sweet tune
If only I could see through your prism
If only I was harder to catch – less by hands, More by air
The focus fluctuates
Always augmented inaccurately
Leaving me shaky, wide-eyed,
Breathing in until I disappear completely,
Trapped inside rusty hallucinations,
Kissing all my friends,
Covered in boils, head to toe,
Racing horses till I lose my legs,
The exhausted metaphors only eat at me
And eat at me
And eat at me
Caught up in your hands
Wincing when it hits me
I lie down
And close my eyes
Body and mind
Irreversibly wound
The naked trees
Laugh at me
Their own cold propriety
Unabashed, in waiting
Caught up in your hands
My heart stays awake
Begging my body to be good
Baby face
Churlish ways
Gone, gone, gone
Recalling a dream
I felt misunderstood
More than I ever have felt
Serenading an instant
Sweet familiarity
An unstinting instant that sticks
Toxic in the bones
I grope around for a loosened latch
One that doesn’t trap me inside
Or eat me alive
But each pane pangs with an idea
That needs control
Leading leading leading
As always to – yes always
A perpetuated affliction
Set up by yours truly
The saints go by – as always always
Waving shiny news
The most majestic composure
But I don’t forget that it’s not so bad
They can’t look away either
Getting stir-crazy makes a mountain, chancing every last inch.
Even still,
it’s a safe bet we’ve been here before,
And there,
And there, the choice exists – implicit but oh so real. Inescapable and palpable, like a screaming tug in all directions
Within, within, begging to slow, it doesn’t ever stop.
Lonely woman, harsh concrete
Living as is, bikes are problematic
Nakedness gets you — get out
I heard the hello drop like a hot potato
I didn’t even smile
Guilt, groundless emotions
feeling your alien feelings
I always carry cash; I left
my wallet — insert the inaccessible
I pledge such deep compassion
But wretchedness leaks in through
the attitude, through reinforcement,
proof — poof, your anger intrusive, invasive
Perverse let me ins and objects never nice
Noticed too often and never enough
Lazy Monday shadows
Put perspective on its edge
Even sun specs give life
To the dancing dust
That darkness forbids
Even movement
scattered on the wall
Will sway in an instant
And change alongside
the chemicals in your brain
Even the sleep marks
On your face
Will fall and fade
Before the light will decide
Where to go next
The sun broke this morning
what should have been dawn turned to a cry
for upkeep. From the streets it was audible,
loud and clear; ringing all the way to my core
There was a gnawing in my belly
but the gloom held me down as the earth shook with laughter
Darkness kept me still as I tried to bargain
My voice fell flat but I could hear rain outside the window
At least I know that we’re still turning
I wait another second, the thought dies away Three, four, six, seven, nine
Everything is fine
Delicate creatures ripped to shreds
Before they reach the forefront
Hocus pocus, a tattooed locust
Nothing ever really quiets the madness
young rat 